Greetings readers. I wanted to make a quick blog posting today and I wanted to share something with all of you.
Today I had a long conversation with my son. He's nearing his 13th birthday and I've noticed some things. He's getting older and his life is rapidly changing. Now my son and I are close, as is the case with all my children. We talk all the time. Still, I felt it was important to reach out to him and discuss some things in heavy detail. It was a great albeit tough conversation. It was uncomfortable at times. But it was a great conversation nonetheless and he and I were both happy it took place.
I'm sharing this because I want to remind all the parents out there who are doing whatever they can to raise their children the best way they know how. Talk to your kids. Really. Talk to them. It sounds so simple but you'd be surprised at how many parents simply don't do this. As I have always asserted parenting is by far the most important job you'll ever have. You will be surprised at how far just a little communication goes. It will solve a host of problems and preempt a host more.
I also want to stress that talking to them means exactly that. Talk TO them. Talk WITH them. Don't just bark instruction. Telling children to "Do what I say" is not talking to them. Sure there are some things that are non negotiable. Sure there are times where they must do what you say and that's the end of it. But you also have to remember to keep the lines of communication open. You also have to remember that sometimes you're going to need to converse with them. Hear their thoughts. Hear their feelings. Respect their positions. It's not as simple as saying "No" all the time. In fact, rarely is it ever that simple.
You have to remember that society is going to bombard your kids with all kinds of things. You wont be with them all the time. You wont be able to shield them from everything. It's simply not possible. It is better to arm them with knowledge. It's better to prepare them with the truth. Then not only will you be able to shield and protect them, they will be able to shield and protect themselves. Society is going to tell them all kinds of lies about their bodies. About their minds. About their race. About their gender. About their sexuality. Without the knowledge and open discussion only a parent or close loved one can provide, the effects on their self image can be devastating.
Also be frank. Be straight. Speak plainly. Be open. Be firm. Kids are fine tuned BS detectors. They'll know if you aren't being genuine. They'll know if you aren't being straight with them. Don't sugar coat your words or sugar coat a discussion. It will greatly diminish the impact. Be loving and be compassionate. Be respectful and be sensitive. But put it down plainly.
This goes not only for parents but anyone in the role of mentor also. Please. Talk with your kids. They need us. We've been down the road they've traveled. How many times have you said to yourself "I wish someone had talked to me about [x]"? You don't want your kids in their 20s, 30s, and 40s saying those things. So build with them. Initiate. Have those tough conversations. You'll be really, really happy you did. Thanks for reading.
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