Stop Comparing the Panthers to the KKK

I need to be clear on something because I'm getting tired of hearing this comparison being made and moving forward I'm going to be fairly merciless when I hear it.

The KKK is a domestic terrorist organization.  They are responsible for the deaths of thousands of Black men and women.  Their heinous crimes include rape, arson, lynching, castration, bombings, and wanton acts of brutality and violence. 

I will not entertain comparisons between the KKK and the Black Panther Party any longer.  Only a moron or a closeted bigot would even attempt to make the comparison.  Nothing in the history of the Panthers can even be remotely equated to the brutal and bloody legacy of the KKK.  At no point has the Panthers ever advocated the eradication and/or subjugation of the white race.  There is no comparison.  None.  Zero.  Nada.  Zilch. 

If you are one of those people comparing the KKK to the Panthers, STOP IT.  Right now.  You look and sound like a fool and I wont hear that bullshit anymore.  Don't come around me with it.  Don't say it in front of me.  Shut it.  Seriously.  I wont tolerate it.  Perhaps you are looking to assuage your feelings of guilt.  Perhaps you are looking to deflect.  I couldn't care less.  Knock it the hell off.   No one has time or interest in that nonsense.

The Sad and Terrible Defense of Bill Cosby

I really wanted my first blog posting of 2016 to be something positive and inspiring.  But this is an issue I really can't ignore.  It's all over the news and I'm hearing some immensely disturbing things. 

Since Bill Cosby's formal arrest on December 30 many people have gone well out of their way to defend him.  They have used all manner of terrible excuses and some of the defenses used have be outright cringe worthy.  I've heard writers, bloggers, entertainers, and every day brothers and sisters give sad and terrible commentary.  I've heard people who seem to lack basic common sense offer outlandish reasons why Cosby might be innocent.  To say I am disappointed, particularly in my people, is a massive understatement.   I'm convinced people have no idea how they sound and it's time to break this down and lay it flat.  So let's begin with shutting down some of the bullshit I continue to hear....

1.  Why Did The Women Wait So Long?

This is the most popular and most frequent defense used.    It's also the most basic and most ignorant.  To ask this question is not only insulting to victims of rape and sexual assault but it also clearly displays an almost unforgivable level of ignorance.  When people ask why did the women wait so long I always answer "Because of you".  Naturally they act shocked and surprised, and ask me how they could possibly be responsible.  I point out that along with the feelings of shame, pain, hurt, and even guilt, rape victims must also deal with a judgmental society who often makes them complicit in their own rape.  Rape victims must often deal with the humiliation of being called liars, opportunists, gold diggers, whores, and other colorful dehumanizing adjectives.  Couple that with the fact that rapists often get away with their crimes and it should come as no surprise why many rape victims are fearful to come forward.  Oh and just for the record, many of Cosby's accusers DIDN'T wait to come forward.  Cosby has been accused of rape for decades. 

2.  Why were They Drinking and Partying With Him?

This defense makes absolutely no sense.  According to Cosby apologists, the fact that some of these women may have wanted to drink, party, and use recreational drugs meant they deserved to be raped.   Or wanted to be raped.  I've actually heard people use the nefarious "they wanted it" excuse(which is quite frankly disgusting) many times.  You see in the minds of Cosby apologists, wanting to party and wanting to be raped are one and the same.  Wanting to have a drink or a smoke and wanting to be raped are one and the same.  Wanting to engage in CONSENSUAL sex and wanting to be raped are one and the same.  Many low key rapists are unwittingly out themselves with this one. 

3.  This is a Conspiracy to Bring Cosby Down Because He Planned to Buy NBC

This defense is so absurd it barely merits attention.  NBC Universal is worth somewhere between 23 and 32 billion dollars with an operating income of 4 billion dollars.  Bill Cosby is worth 400 million dollars.  Now I know math is hard but there is no way Cosby could possibly buy NBC Universal or the NBC Network.  People based this nonsensical myth on a 23 year old story where Cosby along with a HALF DOZEN OTHER INVESTORS attempted to buy NBC in the early 90s.   GE refused and that was that.  There is no truth to this conspiracy.  It's complete and utter nonsense.

4. They Are Attacking the Legacy of  A Strong Black Man

This one bothers me.  It bothers me because for the last two decades Bill Cosby has been shaming, belittling, and talking down to us as Black people.  Cosby has been pummeling us with respectability politics and looking down his nose at us for a long time.  Cosby has long abandoned his Pro-Black stance and has long embraced the kind of shaming and victim blaming that has stifled the upward mobility of Black people.  On more than one occasion he has blamed US for our struggles in society and has been dismissive of important racial and social issues.  He does not stand with us.  In his own words:

"Looking at the incarcerated, these are not political criminals. These are people going around stealing Coca-Cola. People getting shot in the back of the head over a piece of pound cake! And then we all run out and are outraged, 'The cops shouldn't have shot him.' What the hell was he doing with the pound cake in his hand?"

"Are you not paying attention, people with their hat on backwards, pants down around the crack. Isn’t that a sign of something, or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up (laughter and clapping ). Isn’t it a sign of something when she’s got her dress all the way up to the crack…and got all kinds of needles and things going through her body.  We are not Africans. With names like Shaniqua, Shaligua, Mohammed and all that crap and all of them are in jail"

-His words.  Not mine.  Why would racist whites want to bring him down?  Here was a prominent Black icon shaming and degrading struggling brothers and sisters.  He was saying exactly what they wanted him to say.

5.  Cosby's No Different than Any Other Hollywood Actor

I'm not even sure how this is a defense.  If your defense of Cosby is "Well look at Charlie Sheen, Roman Polanski, Woody Allen, etc" then you HAVE to know you're out of gas with no leg to stand on.  If the best you can do to defend Cosby is compare him to other rapists, pedophiles, and drug users then you've got nothing.

At the end of the day we need to examine these and other terrible defenses of Bill Cosby and understand that this it is a part of a much bigger societal problem.  Rape culture is real.  Cosby and his apologists and defenders are living proof of this.  We have a long way to go brothers and sisters.  A very long way.  Where we are right now is immensely troubling.  What does it say about us when we will go so far out of our way to defend an obvious serial rapist?

Thank you for Reading
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The God Complexes: How Many Conservatives and Progressives See Minorities

In speaking with a lot of progressives and conservatives about social and racial issues(particularly my caucasian brethren) I've noticed that often times the conversation tends to go one of two ways.  If I'm talking to a progressive it often goes one way.  If I'm talking to a conservative it often goes the other way.  What's interesting though is that both paths have the same point of origin.  Both paths seem to lead back to what I can only describe as a God complex.   Yes, a God complex.  An innate sense of superiority that far too often is injected into the discussion.  Curious?  Let me explain.

With many conservatives, the God complex is a "superiority complex".  Many conservatives will quickly talk down to you if the discussion is not going their way.  They will speak at you and not to you.  They become prideful and arrogant when proven wrong.  They will deny and deflect while almost dogmatically asserting their viewpoint.   In their minds they are, in short, better than you and if you are suffering or being oppressed that's why.    They don't wish to hear about inequality, injustice, or anything related to these things.  In their minds you are the author of your own suffering, they exist at the top of the food chain, and you are simply a burden on society.  If you were as good as them you wouldn't be suffering.  But you can't be.  Because again...they're better than you.   Poor?  That's your fault.  Nevermind their ill-gotten gains.  They got them and that's all that matters.  Racism?  They'll tell you there is no such thing and the reason that you're suffering is not because of an broken, bigoted system but because you aren't working hard enough.   They are superior and they will reject anything that speaks to the contrary.  No matter how poor they are, how ignorant they are, how unsophisticated they are, they are better than you. 

With many progressives, the God complex is more of a "savior complex".  Those poor, poor minorities.  Wont someone have mercy on their wretched souls?  On the surface it may appear that many of these people are allies.  But once you start to dig a bit it becomes crystal clear that it's more about their egos than it is your suffering.   They quickly start to speak for you.  They tell you what they think is good for you.  They tell you how you should feel about social and racial issues.  They are easy to spot too.  You'll find them on the nearest soap box screaming about whatever social issue is "in".   They should not be confused with true allies.  You see true allies know when to speak and when to be silent.  They know that their role is one of support.  Those with the "savior complex" have no desire to support.  They want to be at the forefront.  They want to be seen.  They want to be praised.  They're whole set up is basically "look at me!".   They want you beholden to them and in a state of perpetual gratitude.   Try to exclude them, try to speak for yourself, or try to place them back in the role of support and they will quickly lash out at you.   Their attitude is one of "how dare you be so ungrateful"?  Thou shalt not bite the hand of thy savior.

Now it should go without saying that not all progressives, or conservatives for that matter, are like this.  But they are out there.  Odds are strong that you are going to encounter them sooner rather than later.  Systemic racism and white supremacy has them by the minds.  They have a God complex.  In their minds you are just a humble mortal soul, either to be saved or ruled over.  Beware these people.  Thanks for reading.

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Talk With Your Kids

Greetings readers.  I wanted to make a quick blog posting today and I wanted to share something with all of you. 

Today I had a long conversation with my son.  He's nearing his 13th birthday and I've noticed some things.  He's getting older and his life is rapidly changing.  Now my son and I are close, as is the case with all my children.  We talk all the time.  Still, I felt it was important to reach out to him and discuss some things in heavy detail.  It was a great albeit tough conversation.  It was uncomfortable at times.  But it was a great conversation nonetheless and he and I were both happy it took place.

I'm sharing this because I want to remind all the parents out there who are doing whatever they can to raise their children the best way they know how.  Talk to your kids.  Really.  Talk to them.  It sounds so simple but you'd be surprised at how many parents simply don't do this.  As I have always asserted parenting is by far the most important job you'll ever have.  You will be surprised at how far just a little communication goes.  It will solve a host of problems and preempt a host more.

I also want to stress that talking to them means exactly that.  Talk TO them.  Talk WITH them.  Don't just bark instruction.  Telling children to "Do what I say" is not talking to them.  Sure there are some things that are non negotiable.  Sure there are times where they must do what you say and that's the end of it.  But you also have to remember to keep the lines of communication open.  You also have to remember that sometimes you're going to need to converse with them.  Hear their thoughts.  Hear their feelings.  Respect their positions.  It's not as simple as saying "No" all the time.  In fact, rarely is it ever that simple.

You have to remember that society is going to bombard your kids with all kinds of things.  You wont be with them all the time.  You wont be able to shield them from everything.  It's simply not possible.  It is better to arm them with knowledge.  It's better to prepare them with the truth.  Then not only will you be able to shield and protect them, they will be able to shield and protect themselves.  Society is going to tell them all kinds of lies about their bodies.  About their minds.  About their race.  About their gender.  About their sexuality.  Without the knowledge and open discussion only a parent or close loved one can provide, the effects on their self image can be devastating.

Also be frank.  Be straight.  Speak plainly.  Be open.  Be firm.  Kids are fine tuned BS detectors.  They'll know if you aren't being genuine.  They'll know if you aren't being straight with them.  Don't sugar coat your words or sugar coat a discussion.  It will greatly diminish the impact.  Be loving and be compassionate.  Be respectful and be sensitive.  But put it down plainly.

This goes not only for parents but anyone in the role of mentor also.  Please.  Talk with your kids.  They need us.  We've been down the road they've traveled.  How many times have you said to yourself "I wish someone had talked to me about [x]"?   You don't want your kids in their 20s, 30s, and 40s saying those things.  So build with them.  Initiate.   Have those tough conversations.  You'll be really, really happy you did.  Thanks for reading.

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Just A Thug

Think for a moment.  Think about how many times you've heard the word "thug" in the past few months.  People wield that word in a very dehumanizing fashion.  There is a reason for that.  It's all very deliberate.  You see once we have successfully dehumanized someone it's easy for society to justify just about anything that happens to them.  It's how we think.  If we humanize the victims of police brutality we are likely to feel empathy for them.  We are more likely to speak up and speak out.  So society dehumanizes these victims.  They become "thugs".  With this word comes a host of prejudices.  Empathy is replaced with contempt.  Compassion is replaced with judgment. 

Think about some of the victims for a moment.  Think about Freddie Gray or Mike Brown or Eric Garner.  These men we all killed by police in broad daylight.  Yet all we heard about was how violent they were.  Or their arrest records.  Or how they might have been breaking the law.  The fact that they were murdered became secondary to their misdeeds.  The fact that Eric Garner was choked to death became secondary to the fact that he may have been selling loose cigarettes.   People were perfectly willing to look at everything except his brutal murder.  Why?  Well there is a reason for that too.

Many people don't want to feel empathy.  Their hearts are filled with hatred.  Or anger.  Or fear.  They don't want to relate to those victimized.  They look for any excuse to look the other way.   Labeling these victims "thugs" is an easy out.  They are thugs.  Bad people.  Hell they aren't even people.  They are criminals.  Scum.   Unscrupulous vermin who deserve what they get.  Labeling these victims "thugs" relieves them of the burden of human decency and compassion and gives them an excuse to dismiss the horrific nature of the deaths of these men.  .

What's really sad is that by taking away the humanity of these and other victims those people don't realize they forfeit their own.  By taking away the rights of these victims those people don't realize they forfeit their own.  Because at any given time they too can be victims of police brutality.  They too can be victims of the behavior they sanction.  They don't even see that by shuttling the humanity of so called "thugs" they have become worse than any "thug" on the street.

This is an old formula though.  It's been used time and again.  Think about how many times you've heard something to this effect: 

"I heard about that woman that got raped.  Personally I don't have any pity for her.  She was a bit of a whore.  I know three guys that she slept with off of the top of my head.  Plus look at how she dresses.  I mean skirt all hiked up.  Top cut low showing all that cleavage.  I mean she's practically asking for it you know?  Yeah I know rape is wrong and everything.  But for God's sake pull your skirt down.  Stop showing off all your assets.  Stop being so promiscuous.  I'm just saying...."

Now if that disturbs you, it should.  It's deplorable.  It's disrespectful.  It's outrageous.  It's also the same thought process people  use when speaking about young black men and police brutality.  It's equally deplorable. It's equally disrespectful.  It's equally outrageous.  As I said it's an old formula.  Unfortunately old tricks are usually the most dangerous and most effective.  It's the same blueprint used with every disenfranchised and oppressed group.  Dehumanize them.  Shame them.  Then blame them for their own plight.  It works with the poor.  It works with rape victims.  It works here.

So when you are building and speaking with someone about police brutality listen out for the word "thug".  Pay attention when someone says they were "just a thug".  It will tell you much about the character of that person and what is in their hearts.  Thanks for reading.

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Black Women's Lives Matter Too: Something We Sometimes Forget

Like many of you I am overflowing with frustration and anger regarding the recent events in Baltimore.  The death of Freddie Gray has garnered national attention and frustration turned to outrage as riots broke out within the city.  There have also been many peaceful protests and many people including myself have written and spoken about this terrible tragedy.   We are justifiably angry and we are rightfully speaking out.

That said, I want to take this opportunity to speak on something else as well.  Many will question the timing of this but I've always been one to follow my heart and trust my instincts.   I feel compelled to speak on this now so now is when I will speak.  I want to speak about my sisters. 

Black women continue to stand with brothers in solidarity and lend their voices and efforts in the fight for justice and equality.   They speak loud and proud and walk in step with us as we march for freedom.  They fight with us in the trenches.  They hold us down and have our backs.   They deserve our respect, our love, and our support and I must be painfully honest:  They don't always get it.  In fact, very often their efforts are taken for granted.

Black women suffer from this oppressive system the same as we do.  They suffer from police brutality the same as we do.  They deal with injustice the same as we do.  Yet they don't always get the same level of support.  We don't always go all in for our sisters.  We aren't always there for them.  That is a sad yet undeniable truth.  They must also deal with misogyny.  They must also deal with gender inequality.  They must also deal with the many stereotypes society heaps on black women.  Yet they are still out there.  Marching.  Speaking out.  Fighting.  Yet too often we are dismissive of their efforts and don't recognize the significance of their presence.  That must change.

We need to go as hard for our sisters as we go for our brothers.   We need to go as hard for our sisters as they go for us.  We need to go as hard for Rekia Boyd as we did for Freddie Gray.  We need to go as hard for Ayana Stanley-Jones as we did for Tamir Rice.   We need to go as hard for Eleanor Bumpurs as we did for Walter Scott.  We need to make sure we are going all in for them because they are going all in for us.

Black Lives Matter.  That includes Black women.  They are on the front lines with us.  They are fighting with us.  To my sisters who are out there, thank you.  I am humbled and I appreciate everything you do.  I have always stated and will continue to state that Black men and Black women are inextricably bound to each other.  If we are to overcome injustice we will do so together. 

So while we are speaking out about Freddie Gray, while we are remembering Ferguson and North Charleston, let us also remember our fallen sisters as well.  Let's also pay respect to those who continue to stand up and lend their voices to the struggle.  We need them.  More than we know.  Thanks for reading.

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Riots: Understanding the Truth Behind Them

Baltimore is burning.  Riots have broken out in the streets.  We are all aware(or should be if we are not) of what is taking place.  But in this blog posting I'm not going to talk about this particular riot or any particular riot.  I want to talk about riots themselves.  I want to speak about riots in general because many people seem confused as to what a riot is and what inspires them.

Throughout human history, in the absence of social justice, people have always taken to the streets. Riots in the face of injustice is nothing new. It happens globally and it has happened historically. "No justice, no peace" isn't simply a saying or a slogan or a rallying cry. It is an undeniable truth.

People don't just wake up in the morning and decide "I think I'll riot today." Riots take place in the absence of justice. When people feel that cannot and will not receive justice through the system you can bet that when tensions flare something is going to be set ablaze.   You can bet something is going to be destroyed.  It is the nature of humans and humanity. 
A riot is the result of what happens when people cannot take a given situation anymore. A riot is what happens when people feel they have no other recourse. A riot is what happens when justice is gone. When hope is gone. When all there is left is anger and frustration. A riot is a reaction. It's what happens when people feel they have nothing left to lose.

When people collectively take to the streets it's because those people feel all else has failed. It is the purging of pent up anger, pain, and despair. Again humans don't just wake up and decide to riot. They don't say "Hey everybody! We are going to riot at 6pm! Be there!" No. It doesn't happen like that.

Injustice is the powder keg. A riot is the explosion. When people are rioting in the streets en masse it's because we have failed as a society. To focus on the riot itself is short sighted. To paraphase MLK "A riot is the outcry of the oppressed".

If you are one of those people who are going on about how "violence begets violence" or "violence solves nothing" or "why are they destroying their own neighborhoods" or anything similar, I must tell you that you are missing the point.  It's time we shifted our focus on what inspires these acts and not just the acts themselves. It's time we learned from our history as human beings. Social injustice has always and WILL always lead to violence in the streets.  That is the bottom line.

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